


How do you do it then?

by Emmerdale_fangirl



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Understanding, talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:32:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6108046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmerdale_fangirl/pseuds/Emmerdale_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron and Robert have an argument about Aaron constantly putting himself down. This causes Aaron to ask Robert a question that he has always wanted to ask him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	How do you do it then?

"why the hell cant you take a bloody compliment," Robert shouts

"Maybe because I know they aren't true," Aaron shouts back leaning against the wall

"Why the hell would I say them if they weren't true?" Robert snaps, he didn't even know why he was having a go at Aaron for this 

"Well you enjoy lying don't ya," Aaron snaps back

"Come on Aaron," Robert shouts,"I've never lied to ya since we got together properly."

"Yeah right, you couldn't be honest to save your life," Aaron shouts back, "wait no, you could, because all you care about is yourself, if your okay, then your happy."

"Come in Aaron, you know I bloody care about you," Robert shouts." I mean I stood by ya when nobody else could be bothered."

"Wow, are you going to throw that in my face every time we fight?" Aaron snaps,"and you wonder why I don't take compliments."

"What do you mean?" Robert asks still shouting 

"Nobody can be bloody bothered about me," Aaron shouts his eyes dropping to the floor and his shout is weak

"Aaron, I didn't mean it like that, I was just trying to prove that I do care about ya," Robert says quickly

"You don't need to say it , I already know it's true," Aaron says his eyes still fixed on the carpet.

"Aaron, Aaron look at me," Robert says pushing Aaron's chin up with his finger, "your family, Adam, me we all love you. Why you being so negative?"

"I'm not being negative, I'm saying what is in my head all the time I mean I wouldn't even have been in this village if it was up to my mum," Aaron says looking at the floor again,"she didn't bring me here because she loves me, she though she had too. I was kicked out, she didn't could and take me away.

"I'm sure she only left ya because she thought you were safe-" Robert started

"SAFE! I was everything but safe. I would still be with G-Gordon if it was up to her. Maybe-maybe if she could have been bothered to come round or even come and see me, she might have caught on or I might have told her." Aaron says tears flowing freely down his face as he rested his head on the wall behind him.

"Come on we can't talk like that. Aaron, your mum loves you, she just- I don't know, maybe she though you'd be better off with Gordon, she can't have had any doubts or she wouldn't have left ya," Robert says putting his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder and squeezing it

"I not saying this is her fault, of cause I'm not, I'm just saying if she didn't show she cared then, why do you think she does now," Aaron says looking at Robert in the eyes

"Aaron, where has this negativity come from?" Robert says sitting down on the chair arm still facing Aaron 

"I hear this everyday but it's not in words it in here," Aaron says pointing to his head, tears still streaming down his cheeks, "constantly telling me nobody can love me, telling me that it's all a lie, telling me I'm broken and can never be fixed." 

"Come here," Robert says pulling him into a tight hug, "none of this is a lie, I can't speak for your family but I can speak for me, I love you Aaron Livsey and don't let anyone or anything tell you different and as for you being broken. That's utter rubbish you are amazing."

"How do you do it?" Aaron asked suddenly, 

"Do what?" Robert asked confused 

"Be so flaming confident and self-assured," Aaron answered look at Robert waiting for an answer 

 

But Robert didn't have one. He had always been confident in himself and never let anyone drag him down. He always believed in himself and never put himself down or disagreed with a compliment. He couldn't denied that he 'loved himself' and always had faith in himself. He mainly had that trait due to the put downs his dad had given him because he didn't want to be a farmer, he had grown from the insults and used himself as a way to convince himself he  could do it. I guess you could say he was born with it. Insults slipped though and prays stayed with him

Aaron, Aaron is different, every insult he reseved got stored and would constantly play to him. He judged himself to much and believed he didn't deserve to be happy. He hated himself. Random words that had been said to him over the years would sometimes play in his head, mainly when someone said they loved him or when they showed him affection. This caused him to push people away, get angry or doubt the person who said the compliment. He'd put himself down or undo the compliment quickly. The worst insult that stayed with him was something Gordon had said,"do you know how hard it was to love you?" The words hit him harder then they should have done. He was the complete opposite of Robert, prays slipped though his mind and insults stayed with him, haunting him every chance they get.

 

"I-erm-I don't know," Robert answers honestly 

"Surely you know why, people must have said things to ya, how do you brush them off," Aaron asks desperately

"I don't really know, I just do. I've never had insults stuck in my mine, I just convince myself they aren't true," Robert offers

"Ya see, I can't do that, every bloody insult from any different person stays with me, remember that day at the scrapyard, when you through insults at me for fun, just to get a reaction, yeah, I remember ever word," Aaron says rubbing his face with his hands as Robert looked down guiltily.

"Do you want me to resite it, because I can you know, I remember everything you said accompanied with everything I said back," Aaron says sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

"Please don't," Robert says shaking his head, "I don't want reminding how horrible I was to you."

"You told me I was tapped, Robert and do you know what hit the hardest it was the fact you use my self-harming as a weapon. What did you say, erm, Oh yeah, you said " **I couldn't dump ya could a? Not once I found out about your little problem, the first time you took ya top off i should have run a mile, I thought it was only girls that could themselves but you get some perverted little kick out of it don't ya. Just cry and run away till ya bleed** " that hit me so hard Robert, then you went on to talk about Jackson and how I fancied him, then I battered him, then I turned him tetraplegic," Aaron spat out every quote from that day and was about to continue when Robert interrupts

"Aaron, please just stop," Robert pleads, the guilt of saying those things still stung but the thing that hurt the most was Aaron's ability to say every word perfectly. He remembered everything 

"What the truth hurt does it, but I can't say it's just you I could tell you the things the man that is supposed to be my dad said when I was a child," Aaron says a tears rolling down his pale cheeks.

"Y-you still remember what he said?" Robert says in disbelief 

Aaron nods,"he use to tell me that nobody cared but him, that w-we had to be t-together to be ok and I had to except punishment when ever I was naughty," Aaron's voice broke

"It's okay, your okay," Robert says pulling Aaron into a hug,

"I love you." Aaron says quietly 

"I love you too," Robert says back and Aaron believed him. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short story that I felt like writing. Sorry if it's rubbish. Btw, this is set in the time after Gordon is in prison and Robert and Aaron are together and happy (mostly). I might continue this if you guys like it. So if you want me to continue this comment down below.


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